Substitute Shinigami
by Ellisguy
Summary: Ichigo is looking forward to some time away from Rukia.  Little does he know that the Soul Society has sent two others to replace her.  Pairings Uryu/Nemu, Chad/Isane, Renji/Rukia, and Ichigo/Orihime.


**Disclaimer: **Bleach is the property of Tite Kubo. This work was created solely for amusement purposes and I am not receiving any compensation for its production.

**Author's Note: **Yes, I should be working on Whispered Hollows, but I've been dealing with some writer's block on that story. I've been reading other stories to get some ideas around it. Unfortunately, a lot of the recent stories have gotten me fed up with their Ichi/ruki, Ori/Ury, or Ori/Ulqui pairings. This aside from some of the Yaoi pairings I've seen and don't care to mention (shivers). So, last Monday being Labor Day, I pounded this out. I held back to do some editing, but in light of the ending of the recent Bleach episode, I thought I should get it up while that was still fresh in everyone's minds. More notes to follow.

**

* * *

****Substitute Shinigami**

Although the Summer Holidays were long over, the heat still had not left Karakura Town. This made conditions mildly stuffy in the halls and classrooms of Karakura High. Consequently, many of the students were listless and mildly irascible, despite wearing their summer uniforms. No exception was Ichigo Kurosaki who had his arm resting on his school desk, bent so as to support his head in his hand, as he stared out the classroom window. His trademark scowl seemingly permanently affixed to his face.

The rather famed "delinquent" of Karakura High should have been feeling somewhat happy. After all, this should have been the start of a vacation of sorts for him. The Substitute Shinigami, and protector of Karakura Town from all things Hollow, had learned two weeks ago that his pint-sized Soul Society liaison, Rukia Kuchiki, had to return to her division for an entire month due to some mandatory training. While he considered Rukia a close friend and the one responsible for changing his life, Ichigo somewhat welcomed her departure, mostly due to her mischievous pranks and what he deemed sadistic notions about Soul Reaper "training". Furthermore, he wouldn't have to explain away the rather abrupt appearances of Renji Abarai to his classmates and his sisters, although it seemed to Ichigo that Karin never appeared to be buying his explanations anyway. Nonetheless, it was a welcome relief since Renji's appearances seemed to be occurring more frequently, and the inside jokes between the two soul reapers were beginning to get tiresome. Ichigo really couldn't understand their interest in his closet.

Unfortunately, in preparation for her departure, Rukia had to come up with story for why she was leaving. This meant the traditional sham-acting and fake water-works around some preposterous story about some sick aunt needing to be cared for, and Rukia was the only one who could do it. Predictably, Isshin played along with the charade in his own melodramatic fashion: crying to his larger life portrait of Masaki about losing their "new daughter". Also rather predictably, Yuzu joined her father in the display, albeit her feelings were genuine, but Karin sat back with a scowl to match Ichigo's. Then, for the next two weeks, all energies around the Kurosaki Clinic were devoted to preparing for Rukia's departure, and, more importantly, to the party the night before.

The last two weeks had been exhausting, but at last Rukia had returned to the Soul Society and Ichigo might now see some semblance of peace. He was even contemplating the notion of letting Uryu get ahead in their on-going nighttime rivalry just for a little extra rest. All Ichigo needed now was for the school day to be over. There was only one problem: it was just beginning.

The class bell rang.

"Everyone in your seats!" Ochi-sensei ordered. "Settle down and face front. We have some new students joining our class. This means you too, Kurosaki!"

Slightly annoyed, Ichigo turned his head to see that his teacher was glaring very pointedly at him from the front of the class. Grudgingly, he assumed a more appropriate posture that seemed to placate the instructor. With a self-satisfied smirk, Ochi-sensei continued.

"Everyone, these two will be joining our class for one month as part of an exchange," Ochi-sensei explained with her left arm outstretched towards them. "I expect all of you to do your best to make them feel welcome."

Then Ichigo allowed his eyes to follow his teacher's arm to the aforementioned transfer students. When his eyes reached them, he did a double-take. His eyes bulged and his mouth slacked open as he gripped the edges of his desk with a crushing force. Indeed, if some anime artist could have depicted the scene, Ichigo's three-dimensional appearance would have suddenly been reduced to 2-D. In front of the class, in Karakura High School uniforms, appeared to be two high-ranking members of the Soul Society, 12th Divison fukutaicho Nemu Kurotsuchi and 4th Division fukutaicho Isane Kotetsu. This had to be some kind of trick! Maybe that crazed "shopkeeper" Urahara put something in his drink during their after-party at his shop. This couldn't be happening!

Ochi-sensei then turned to the two females and asked, "Would you like to introduce yourselves?"

The one with long black hair pulled back into a single braid and green eyes stepped forward, saying, "Nemu Kurotsuchi. I shall be in your care."

She finished with a bow and stepped back very efficiently. The much taller woman with silver hair to Nemu's left, however, was not so forthcoming. In fact, she appeared to be more concerned with the length of her skirt, or the lack thereof, than with introducing herself. It was only after a not-to-subtle nudge from Nemu that the startled female stepped forward.

"I-Isane Kotetsu. I will also be in your care. Thank you," she said, thus dispelling any possibility to Ichigo that what he was seeing could possibly be some elaborate drug-induced illusion perpetrated by a maniacal former head of the 12th Gotei Division turned "humble shopkeeper".

"Well, since introductions are over, would you two please find your seats so that we may begin our lessons?" Ochi-sensei politely asked.

Almost immediately, Nemu bowed towards Ochi-sensei and then approached a desk in the front row. What was surprising, though, was the fact that the desk already had someone sitting at it. The student wasn't someone that Ichigo knew personally, but he knew she was in the sewing club and a devout fan of Uryu. Hence, she was occupying the desk just to the left of the class leader, the very desk that Nemu had just set herself in front of.

Bending down, Nemu looked into the girl's eyes, pointed and said, "This is my desk."

Startled, the unnamed girl replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm already sitting here."

"You need to move," Nemu insisted pointedly as she leaned in closer.

"There are other desks . . ."

"This one is mine," Nemu said as their heads were almost touching.

"But . . ."

"I am sitting here."

With Nemu's final definitive statement, the other girl hastily gathered her things, stood up from the desk and moved to the back of the classroom. Nemu, in turn took her seat next to Uryu rather quickly. After sitting down, however, she very purposefully slid her desk up against Uryu's, looped her right arm into his left, and leaned very heavily against him. Uryu's only response from what Ichigo could see was to simply push his glasses higher on his nose with his free hand. Now all attention focused on Isane who was still standing nervously at the front of the classroom.

Nemu's actions may have had an unfortunate consequence for Isane, because it seemed to Ichigo that many of the lovelorn males were now taking notice of the shinigami's gigai form. Albeit, she was tall, even taller than Ochi-sensei, but one couldn't help notice that she was well-proportioned for her height. Ichigo also suspected that her uniform may have been slightly too small for her causing her long legs and considerable bust to be accentuated. The Substitute Shinigami could all too easily imagine a lecherous, eccentric shopkeeper hiding a smile behind his paper fan as he innocently apologized for the ordering mishap.

"There's a free desk right here!" Keigo shouted as he jumped up. It was debatable as to whether he actually realized he was pointing to the desk that Mizuiro was already sitting in. Regardless, Keigo's outburst appeared to be the dam-break that made most of the other males in the class decide to join in. A dark aura seemed to descend over the classroom, and it seemed to Ichigo that the males had, as well, taken on a feral, animalistic aspect with a demonic red glint in their eyes. Indeed, their shadows on the walls seemed to resemble wolves, and said wolves were beginning to encircle their prey. Isane recoiled back to the blackboard, but that only seemed to encourage them more, so much so that Ochi-sensei's calls for the males to sit down were completely forgotten. It seemed very likely that Isane was about to be devoured.

Suddenly, a loud screech sounded from the back of the classroom. It sounded like a chair that had been very forcefully drug upon the linoleum floor. Ichigo took particular notice of it since the sound seemed to come from right behind him. Swinging his head around, the orange-haired teen saw that Chad, otherwise known as Yasutora Sado, was now standing at his desk. With his eyes hidden in his shaggy brown bangs, the powerfully built mestizo stepped out from behind his desk and walked to the front of the now silent classroom. He easily penetrated the semicircle that had formed around Isane, as all the other males made room for the giant. Chad stopped in front of the silver-haired shinigami, and seemed to offer his hand to her. Though she appeared to be shaken, Isane looked up at him, and then she gratefully, almost demurely, took hold of his hand. It was at the sight of this that the other males in the class sighed dejectedly and headed back to their desks.

Finding her voice again, Ochi-sensei then said, "Very well. Sado, do you think you can help Kotetsu find a desk?"

Chad turned to his sensei and gave her a singular nod. Then with a gentle tug on her arm, he led Isane down the aisle from which he came. They walked down past Ichigo and stopped right behind him. Chad looked at the occupant of the desk next to his, who just happened to be Keigo. Ichigo saw Keigo look up at Chad and nervously scratch the back of his head. If this was an anime, the spastic young teen would have had a huge sweat-drop on him right now. Also there would be a very dark purple and black aura surrounding the larger darker-skinned teen. Ichigo was in fact feeling that aura.

Without another word, Keigo leapt from the desk and moved to the back of the classroom. Chad's aura subsided and he resumed his original seat behind Ichigo. Isane likewise wordlessly sat down at her new desk. Ichigo saw a faint blush on her cheeks, and then he noticed that Chad had one to match.

Turning back to the front in his chair, Ichigo distantly heard Ochi-sensei as she began her lecture. He was more concerned as to why the Soul Society had sent two of their most high-ranking shinigami to Karakura town. Obviously, they were meant to make contact with Ichigo, but for what purpose? This question Ichigo knew was going to permeate his thoughts for the rest of the day, since he knew that he would most likely not get a chance to talk with Isane or Nemu alone, or without some other non-Soul-Society-associated human near, until after school ended.

True to his suspicions, Isane and Nemu, nominally protected by Chad and Uryu, were accosted at nearly every moment during the school day. Normally, it was by female classmates simply trying to find out who they were, where they came from, and if they planned to participate in any clubs while they were at Karakura. The Shinigami's cover story was that they were both from a small school in a northern prefecture, they had come to Karakura as part of an exchange to see what schools are like in the larger cities, and, unfortunately, they would not be able to participate in any clubs while at the high school. This was very disheartening to some of the sports clubs who saw Isane's height as an advantage. Ichigo thought that if they had found out about Nemu's abilities, they would have never left them alone.

Nonetheless, the end of the day had the both of them chatting to a very excited Chizuru, who probably would not have been too concerned with the pair if their breast sizes hadn't been comparable to Orihime. It was a welcome change, since, for once, the well-known lesbian wasn't trying to overtly molest the strawberry-blond and Tatsuki wasn't having to stop her.

"So, what are your plans now that classes are over?" the bespectacled brunette cooed as they left the classroom.

"We have not decided," Nemu replied as she held on to Uryu's arm, much like she had done for the better part of the day.

"That is to say, we're still learning our way around," Isane added from behind her melancholic compatriot. Chad was walking next to her with Ichigo and Orihime bringing up the rear.

"Oh! Then you _must_ come with me," Chizuru declared. "We'll go shopping for new outfits. Then have our nails done, and finally finish up with a nice hot bath!"

By the end of Chizuru's fantastic offer, the self-same teen's face held a somewhat suspicious far away grin as her hands appeared to be squeezing an as-yet-undescribed ethereal object. Ichigo could not be sure, but he thought he saw a certain glint on the side of her mouth.

Fortunately, before anyone had a chance to comment on the offer, a rather rough hand seemed to chop Chizuru on the head leaving a sizeable bump. This hand was soon realized by everyone to be attached to one perturbed looking Tatsuki Arisawa.

"Have you forgotten that we are supposed to be studying in the library for your math make-up exam?" the irate Judo-champ of Karakura High asked.

Turning to face Tatsuki and rubbing her own head, Chizuru replied, "I thought we could do that later. Afterall, the only reason I didn't pass was because the beautiful Orihime was there."

"The make-up is tomorrow," Tatsuki barked as she grabbed Chizuru by the back of the collar. "If you couldn't pass the test while distracted, it still means you didn't study enough!"

Tatsuki then dragged a very reluctant Chizuru by the collar in the opposite direction from which the group had been heading. Ichigo noticed that as the two passed, Tatsuki winked and flashed a surreptitious thumbs-up to Orihime who seemed to smile and nod back slightly. While being dragged down the hall to the library, Chizuru called back, pleading, "Nemu, Isane, _Orihime_! Wait for meeeeee . . . .!"

"Inoue?" Ichigo asked.

Turning around to the substitute shinigami, Orihime blushed and explained, "I thought that you might need to talk to Nemu-san and Isane-san later, so I asked Tatsuki-chan to make sure we were left alone after school."

Ichigo placed a hand on her shoulder causing the strawberry-blonde beauty to look straight into his brown eyes. Her blush deepened, much to Ichigo's bewilderment, but he still managed to say very endearingly, "Thanks, Inoue."

"Hai, Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime beamed.

"That was good thinking, Inoue-san," Uryu agreed, and Chad nodded his agreement as well. This caused Orihime's smile to shine even more radiantly. Ichigo thought that some of her reiatsu might be affecting it.

"We should probably leave the school before we talk about anything serious. Don't you agree, Kurosaki?" Uryu asked.

Ichigo nodded.

"Great! Then I can tell Isane-san and Nemu-san about all my favorite places to buy doughnuts," Orihime announced, and as the group turned to leave, the buxom healer excitedly told them about each one. Initially, Ichigo was doubtful that such a conversation could last until they were outside the school grounds, but Orihime surprised him, not to mention most everyone else, with her knowledge of the local doughnut purveyors, the only exception possibly being Nemu. Not only did they make it off the school grounds, but they were a full two blocks away when Orihime reached the last of her stores. It was then that they all stopped, and the mood became slightly more serious.

"Alright, so why are the both of you here?" Ichigo asked. Unfortunately, just as he asked the question, everyone began to hear a distant cry. In a moment, Ichigo was about to pull out his badge, but then he realized the cry was actually human, and even familiar.

"I . . . chi . . . go!" the distant voice cried. Everyone looked back to where the voice was coming from and realized that Keigo was behind them, about a block away, and sprinting fast. Before the knew it, though, the spastic teen was right upon them and seemed to not be letting up, so Ichigo hit him hard with his bookbag. Yet, being knocked back heels over head a few times, Keigo still managed to right himself immediately.

"Ichigo! How could you leave me behind? I thought we were friends!" the brown-haired teen raved.

"We're just going home," Ichigo said uninterested.

"But why are you going home with all the pretty girls? It's not fair! Why can't I walk home with them too?"

"The answer to that is simple, Asano-san," Uryu spoke up as he and Nemu, still interlocked, moved in between Ichigo and Keigo. "You live in an entirely different direction from the school than us. It does not make sense for us to walk together."

Keigo then turned his angst against the bespectacled Quincy, asking, "Well, why are the transfers walking with you? You've got something planned, I know it? Why are you leaving me out? . . ."

"You are not needed," Nemu stated plainly.

"What?" Keigo asked surprised by the dark haired female's voice.

"You are not needed," Nemu repeated, but this time she took her left arm held it out in front of her towards Keigo and allowed her forearm to twist one full turn around.

Keigo's eyes bulged as he jumped back, pointed and cried, "D-did you just see that?"

"See what?" Ichigo asked.

"See her twist her arm around!" Keigo replied.

"Humans cannot twist their own arms around," Uryu stated. "Are you certain of what you saw?"

Keigo looked at Ichigo and Uryu in disbelief. Then he shot a pleading look to Orihime.

"I'm sorry, Asano-san, but I didn't see anything," she said. It was technically true since her view was blocked by Uryu's body.

A look to Chad by Keigo yielded a similar result since he was too far away to see anything as well. Defeated, Keigo cried loudly, then turned around and dashed off leaving a large dust cloud and trailing two spouts of water as he yelled, "I will remember this . . .!"

With a moment's pause, Ichigo once again looked at Nemu, but before he could ask his question, the 12th Division fukutaicho said, "There is no need to repeat your question. We have been sent to the Real World to fulfill Rukia Kuchiki's duties while she is completing her training with her division."

"So why did they send two of you?" Ichigo asked.

"Unohana-taicho suggested it," Isane said coming forward. "She thought it would be better if two of us went. That way, we could patrol with you on alternate days, and when we aren't with you, we can learn more about the Real World."

"It has become apparent to Yamamoto-taicho-domo that our knowledge of the customs of the Real World has become outdated, and new information is needed," Nemu explained.

"I thought Rukia was doing fine with all of that," Ichigo stated.

"She is, . . ." Isane said hesitantly.

"Unohana-taicho does not trust Mayuri-sama," Nemu stated causing Isane to gasp. "Our division was the next to be assigned to observe Ichigo Kurosaki, but Unohana-taicho protested due to Mayuri-sama's propensity to not share vital information with the other divisions. The other captains agreed and Unohana-taicho suggested another division member should be sent to guarantee information was shared equally."

"So it appears that much of the infighting of the Gotei 13 is still alive and well, even after all the trouble Aizen caused," Uryu mused.

"Things are improving, slowly," Nemu countered.

"Okay, so you are both here to observe me," Ichigo concluded. "Have you decided how the both of you are going to stay here for the next month? And don't try to stay with me. We're saving everything for when Rukia gets back."

"You do not have to worry, Kurosaki-san," Nemu replied. "I will be staying with Quincy-san. Mayuri-sama would also like to know how his modifications to Quincy-san are functioning."

At this revelation, Ichigo, Orihime, Chad and Isane looked at Uryu questioningly.

"I will explain it later," Uryu said to them.

"We should leave, Quincy-san" Nemu then said very pointedly to Uryu.

Looking at Nemu, Uryu asked, "Is Mayuri that eager to get his research results?"

"No, Quincy-san, I have some research that I wish to complete as well," Nemu replied.

Curious, Uryu then asked, "What is the nature of your research?"

"This and that," Nemu stated plainly.

"This and that?" Uryu questioned.

"This and that." Nemu confirmed.

"We will be leaving now," Uryu said with some apparent haste, and then the two of them spun around as one, striding off without anymore ado. This left a few questions in Ichigo's mind. First, what was the research that Nemu wanted to complete with Uryu? Second, why was Uryu so apparently eager to help her with it? Finally, why was everyone else blushing about it?

Ichigo then decided to turn to the remaining Soul Reaper, Isane, and asked her, "So do you have a place to stay?"

Isane seemed to be startled by the question despite the fact that living arrangements had seemed to be the topic of discussion for the past few minutes. Ichigo also noticed that her blush seemed to deepen along with Chad's. This was as frustrating as Rukia and Renji's inside jokes about his closet.

"Um, Isane-san," Orihime offered very timidly. "If you need someplace to stay, you could probably stay with me."

"If it won't be too much trouble . . ." Isane said to Orihime apparently not trying to sound too eager.

Orihime then smiled, "Oh no, it'll be great! I'll finally get to tryout some of my new fish-paste recipes!"

Unnoticed by the excited strawberry-blonde, the silver-haired shinigami suddenly paled, but she didn't have any time to object as Orihime grabbed her wrist and started leading Isane back to her apartment. Ichigo, once again, stood in bewilderment of what he witnessed. He then noticed Chad was now at his side giving him the best pleading look that he was able.

"Yuzu's recipe book, please," Chad said simply. Ichigo, although confused, couldn't help to accept his friend's request. Chad then gave his signature thumbs-up and departed.

Standing alone on the street now, Ichigo looked at the various directions his friends had left. He was feeling more confused than ever. Why did everything have to get so complicated when they were supposed to become simpler? Had been looking forward to a little more rest while Rukia was away, but it was becoming evident that the opposite was going to be true. He was now going to have to be watching over two shinigami, the inside jokes had only increased, and he had the sinking feeling that he understood his friends less now than ever. Just contemplating it all was tiring.

Turning in the direction of his home, Ichigo trudged off. Maybe he'd ask Karin about it. After all, she seemed to have a good idea about everything that was happening already.

* * *

**More Notes: **The context of this story is that it is taking place after the Winter War, but possibly in the intervening time before the Zanpaktou Rebellion (there are hints in that story arc, that it followed the current one). The scene with Nemu intimidating a girl out of her desk next to Uryu was actually inspired from the Kanokon anime when Nozomu did the same to get a desk beside Kouta. As for Isane, it is well noted in the manga that while attractive in her own right, her height has made her very self-conscious since she is taller than almost all of the male shinigami. She also has an intense dislike of fish-paste (and apparently fish-cake as well). "This and that", refers to a translation of a japanese euphemism refering to erotic foreplay. I hope this all helps with the understanding of the story.


End file.
